The Beginning.

I've started about twenty blogs in my 17 years. All of them have around three posts before they were helplessly abandoned by my short attention span.

But I thought I'd give it another shot. And despite my previous attempts at blogging, I still never quite know what to say in the first entry. I decided on telling you about myself and what this blog's all about.

There's only one important thing you need to know about me: I am a follower and lover of Jesus. My life is for the glory of God, not my own.

I love to write. I have my whole life. I heard awhile ago to use my talents to glorify the Lord. This, my dear readers, is what I hope to do here. I hope to show you His strength through my weaknesses, His grace in my shortcomings, and tell you what He's doing in my life and heart through what I write.



A little fun fact about myself. I have been very sick for a few years now. I can't tell you what it is because that's something even I nor my doctors know. But I can tell you these past few years have been a struggle through which God has shown Himself to me in incredible ways.

This morning I saw my Rheumatologist to talk about possibly starting treatment. Also known as our Hail Mary and Shot in the Dark. The previous week I'd gotten a crap load of blood tests done (14 vials of blood to be exact) and the tests were back today. I prayed fiercely for patience as I was on my way to the office. It is one thing that has been tested again and again these past few years: my patience. I knew the blood tests may come back with nothing. I knew I may come back from this appointment knowing nothing more than I did before. I prayed for God's will to be done and for the patience to wait on Him. To wait on His timing.

The blood tests came back with nothing. However, we decided to try some treatment anyways to manage pain and fatigue. I went to school somewhat defeated, but not as much as I thought I would be. I sat in study hall listening to Brokenness Aside by All Sons and Daughters. I fought hard to keep back tears. I was so tired. So worn and confused and frustrated. But listening to the words of this song, peace washed over me and calmed my weary heart. I sat with my eyes closed as I felt myself being stripped down and built up again. I was a peace. In awe of God and all He is.

I am broken. I am in pieces. But He puts brokenness aside and makes it beautiful.


I started to write.



Never stop doing this. Never stop creating me; tearing down and building back up. Never stop breaking my heart and bringing me to my knees. Never stop showing Your strength through my weakness. Never stop using me and teaching me lessons that hurt. Because it's here, in the midst of pain and fear do I see the joy of who You are. It's here I see Your love and gentle hands, picking up the broken pieces of all I am and bringing beauty from the ashes. 

Never stop bringing good out of suffering. Never stop creating in me a heart more like Yours, Jesus. 

Without You, I am nothing. You are all that is good in me. Your promise, Lord, is my hope. Your love is my life. Help me remember all You suffered for me when I am lost in self pity. Help me remember Your perfection and the sufficiency of Your grace when I am drowning in insecurities. 

Remind me of all You have done, Jesus, remind me of Your example when I am selfish and prideful and lost on where to go. Give me Your eyes when I fail to look at others the way You do. Help me live a life where I die more every day; one full of love and sacrifice and grace... One full of broken hallelujah's and echoes of Your name. Help me be a light in a world lost in darkness, to have the courage to love in a place that only knows hatred. Guide me to those who have yet to hear of Your great love; to those who feel they have lost the fight and hang their head in shame. 

Humble me, Lord. Give me a heart of humility rather than one of pride. I do not know everything. I do not know what is wrong, or why I have no answers. But You do and I trust that Your plan is good. YOU are the one who saves. YOU are the one who heals. YOU are the one who paid the price and conquered the grave. I am saved, not because of my powers or efforts, but because of Your grace. I trust You. I trust You. So I surrender this to you, God. My life is yours. All I am is Yours.

Let Your will be done in my life.



I began to write and I will not stop until you can see the beauty of Him through the ashes of who we have been.